A Week Without Pizza or Beer

Phase 1. Week 2. Day 1. Down 6.6 pounds. But who’s counting?

This South Beach Diet thing really seems to be working. A few years ago I was on Atkins and I lost about 35 pounds but I dreaded every minute of it. Steak, cheese and pork rinds for months on end. Ugh! At first it sounded like redneck Heaven but after two weeks of it I had fantasies of running the local Domino’s Pizza kid off the road and stealing his warm red bag of pizza. Yes, I went from dreams of Angelina Jolie to pizza jacking. So it was inevitable that I would fail at Atkins.

Looking back I think I had a hard time with it because Atkins completely excludes a whole family of nutrients. Who can get through life without carbohydrates? After all, God wouldn’t have created Belgium waffles unless he wanted me to have powdered sugar.

And you know how it goes. The minute someone says you can’t have something, you crave after it. Just like me with Angelina. But unlike Akins, the South Beach Diet lets you have carbohydrates because it makes the distinction between “good” carbs and “bad” carbs. It has to do with the Glycemic Index of foods and how your body reacts to what you ingest. Some sugars effect your insulin levels more than others. Yes, the science behind it is pretty complicated but most of you know, innately, that pinto beans are better for you than a Snickers.

So here we are. Week two of South Beach. So far, so good. No cravings at all. None for beer, none for pizza and none for fast food.

I’m shocked.

Some people have to be bit by radioactive spiders or come from the far off planet Krypton to have super human strength. But after one week on the South Beach Diet I can battle cute, friendly, yet evil super monsters like Hungry and defeat them with a celery stalk and hummus before he can even get the cap off the beer or the pizza out of the box. Shazaam!

Sure, I’ll admit, it’s sort of a lame super power but everyone can’t be cool like Aquaman.

Okay, he’s got a lame super power too.