Happy Fifth of May, y’all!
Back in the late eighties we used to go down to Ensenada and buy a case of Coronas for four bucks have to leave a deposit of five bucks for the glass. Then Groupo Modelo invented Cinco de Mayo for the gringos and showed beautiful ocean views of picturesque beaches and everything changed. Now Corona is the fourth best selling beer in the world.
Super Size Me.
For the six of you, now five of you, who have not seen the movie, it is about this guy (Morgan Spurlock) who decides to eat at McDonald’s three time a day and nothing else. He did it for thirty days, became famous, and made a fortune with his documentary.
Me, I’ve been doing that for thirty years, have a blog, and I’m up to my eyeballs in debt.
I have just a few days left with my old friend, beer. Over the years we’ve had a lot of fun together.
It saw me through college and helped me dance on my wedding night. It made yard work more pleasant and baseball watchable. It helped me vote and get through family reunions. It was there for me when I had that problem in Mexico and… oh yeah, uh, that time I think it was the cause of my problems.
The way I figure it… well, the way my doctor figures it… I should weigh about 170 pounds. She’s crazy. I haven’t weighed 170 since 1982.
Back then, I was a freshman in college and I was on the meal plan. I could eat as much as I wanted pretty much whenever I wanted. Yet I managed to lose 11 pounds that year.
The eggs were always cold and runny, the pizza was made with Bisquick and paste, and while a lot of things in life taste like chicken, their chicken didn’t.
My God. I’m middle aged, balding and fat. Very fat.
An inch taller and I’d be round.
Some of us guys turn out like our dads but I can safely say that I have turned into my grandpa.
My body aches, my ankle is shot and more than one upwardly mobile doctor has salivated when reviewing my medical chart.
So it’s time I do something about it.
© 2009 Mr. Beer Belly. All Rights Reserved.
Burp!
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