My Poor Uncle Sam

Wow, for the first time in my life I am ahead of the curve on something!

I must be the last guy in the world to know about Twitter, the 30-Day Blog Challenge and something called an iPhone. I was even late to the South Beach Diet supper table. The book has been on the market for six years and I just picked up a copy two weeks ago.

Before you know it, they will be making cars that can run on gasoline and batteries!

Anyway, I was poking around the net last night and saw that the weenies in Washington want to raise the taxes on beer, smokes and pork rinds… so, basically they want to tax the South.

It seems that my Uncle Sam is a degenerate gambler and cashed out his 401K and let it all ride on 17 black and it came up 14 red… now he’s looking through sofa cushions and checking pay phones for loose change.

Poor guy.

And a week too late. Sorry Uncle Sam, I’m a step ahead of you! I gave up cigars, beer, soda and potato chips just a few days ago! And with the amount of alcohol and junk food I used go through I’m sure I could have single-handedly pulled a small state like Rhode Island off the brink of bankruptcy.

Oh well. Them’s the breaks.

I feel bad for the guy but it’s his own fault. The family tried to get him to cut up his credit cards and get some help for his addictions but he refused to listen.

But it’s more serious this time. We have no choice. The second I see my uncle standing on the street corner playing the banjo and panhandling for tips we’re doing an intervention. Then he’s off to rehab and getting a real job when he gets out.