It’s nearing the end of basketball season, which means it’s playoff time. Me, I could care less about basketball. I’m a football fan. (Go Skins!)
I’ve been to my share of basketball games in my life but the sport is so damned monotonous that within two minutes of tip-off I’m wandering around the arena looking for hot dogs and beer. They only let you buy two beers at a time so it’s usually a good strategy to start in the parking lot first.
I’ve been eating a lot of strange foods lately. You know them best as Brussels sprouts, asparagus and broccoli. Blech!
Honestly, I don’t know how people can be vegetarian. Vegetables just don’t satisfy me. I’m a man. I need meat to feel full.
I started Phase 2 of the South Beach Diet today. I lost 10.4 pounds on Phase 1 as of this morning.
I had an apple today for the first time in two weeks. Actually, it’s probably been longer than that. To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I had fruit other than tomatoes on a Margherita pizza or yellow grapefruit juice in my Stoli Greyhounds.
Hmmm. I suppose that explains a great deal of how I got this beer belly.
Have you been into a health food store recently? I was in one this morning and I was the fattest guy in the store. That’s what I like about travelling to places like Chicago. I’m thin over there.
The store by my house is run by these thin shaky people. Not quite hippies and not quite meth-heads. I think they live on Red Bulls and Dexatrim.
Earlier this evening, after eating my salad and chicken breast, I found myself sitting in Chuck E. Cheese’s with my nephew and family.
Hmmm… a food joint with a rodent as its mascot?! Ah, but I digress.
Suddenly, in comes the family from hell.
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Burp!
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